Several years ago, when I was going through breast cancer, I was given a list that I have tried to share often. It is a list of "Ways You Can Help Me Deal With Cancer". Even though I have been blessed with good health for the past four years, now my mother-in-law is going through lymphoma. It seems that in this day and time, all of us have been touched by this horrible disease in one way or another. So I would like to share this list once again.
To My Family and Friends
Ways You Can Help Me Deal With Cancer
1. Don't Avoid Me! Be the loved one or the friend you've always been.
2. Touch me. A simple squeeze of the hand can tell me you still care and I won't feel so isolated. A hug would be wonderful. (personal note: please do it gently!)
3. Call me and tell me you're bringing dinner and what time you'll arrive. Bring food in disposable containers so I won't have to worry about returns.
4. Take care of my children for me. Offer to baby sit, even if its just at my home and I'm there. I need to have some free time with my spouse and my children need a little vacation from my illness.
5. Cry with me when I cry and laugh with me when I laugh. Don't be afraid to share your emotions with me.
6. Take me out for a drive or for a pleasure trip, but be sensitive about how much I can do.
7. Call me for a shopping list and make a special delivery to my home.
8. Call before you visit, but don't be afraid to visit. Don't automatically assume that sickness requires rest at the expense of communication. I need you. I am lonely.
9. Help me celebrate holidays and special occasions by decorating my room in the hospital or at home by bringing little gifts and flowers and natural treasures.
10. Help my family. I am the sick one, but they are suffering too.
11. Be creative! Ask me whom I'd like to see and bring them to see me. Bring me a magazine or a book of thoughts, a poster for my wall, cd and cd player, a box of cookies to share with my visitors.
12. Let's talk about it. Don't be afraid to say the word cancer. Find out if I want to talk about it by asking, "Do you want to talk ab out it?"
13. Talk to me about real life - the life you are living in, so I can stay involved with what's happening in the world. And talk to me about the future, tomorrow, next week, next year.
14. Don't feel we always have to talk. We can sit silently together or just watch television. If you feel free to nap if I need to.
15. Include me in decision-making. I've already been robbed of so many things. I don't need to be left out of making decisions in my family and myself.
16. Could you help me with some cleaning? During my illness/treatment my family and I still face dirty clothes, dirty dishes, a dirty house. Make a specific offer - for example, say I will be over Monday to do your laundry and then DO IT!
17. Water my flowers (or clean my flower beds)
18. Just send me a card that says, "I care."
19. Pray for me and share your faith with me.
20. Remember that no matter what I look like or feel like, I amd STILL the ME I've always been inside.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Why not me?
One of the big questions most people ask when hit with some sort of traumatic experience is "Why Me?" Well... why not? Most of us are spoiled to an easy life with very few major problems. However, if you look at those who stand out in history, the people who take the forefront are the ones who had more than their fair share of adversity.
Take a stroll through the Bible and glimpse at the lives of Joseph, Moses, David, Job, Paul, Silas... and even Jesus Christ himself. They were not exempt from hardship. Am I any better than they?
One thing we tend to loose sight of is the fact that Christ has promised to go WITH us through our storms. We can choose to panic and run from here to there looking for answers and colliding with things in the dark, or we hand stand still for a minute, get our bearings, grab hold tight to Jesus' hand... and then take one step at a time, following in the path that He leads. Christ says He will light our way, however, we may only be able to see one pace at a time.
You next adversity may not be some sort of punishment or correction. It may be a time of growth and adventure. A time of learning and maturing. It may be a time to take all that we have been taught since our childhood and put it to the test. Like the eaglet, testing it's wings for the very first time. Our flight may not be perfect. We may have our ups and downs. We may be able to glide along on the breese for a while or me may have to beat our wing ever so feverishly to keep from crashing on the rocks below.
LOL..It is so easy to tell someone ELSE that famous Biblical quote, "God will not place any more on you than you can bear." Just think of all that Dorothy would have missed out on if she had never followed that yellow brick road.
So how do we begin? Well, with one small step...
Take a stroll through the Bible and glimpse at the lives of Joseph, Moses, David, Job, Paul, Silas... and even Jesus Christ himself. They were not exempt from hardship. Am I any better than they?
One thing we tend to loose sight of is the fact that Christ has promised to go WITH us through our storms. We can choose to panic and run from here to there looking for answers and colliding with things in the dark, or we hand stand still for a minute, get our bearings, grab hold tight to Jesus' hand... and then take one step at a time, following in the path that He leads. Christ says He will light our way, however, we may only be able to see one pace at a time.
You next adversity may not be some sort of punishment or correction. It may be a time of growth and adventure. A time of learning and maturing. It may be a time to take all that we have been taught since our childhood and put it to the test. Like the eaglet, testing it's wings for the very first time. Our flight may not be perfect. We may have our ups and downs. We may be able to glide along on the breese for a while or me may have to beat our wing ever so feverishly to keep from crashing on the rocks below.
LOL..It is so easy to tell someone ELSE that famous Biblical quote, "God will not place any more on you than you can bear." Just think of all that Dorothy would have missed out on if she had never followed that yellow brick road.
So how do we begin? Well, with one small step...
Friday, February 12, 2010
Please allow me to introduce myself...
My name is Alice and at the date of this posting I am 51 years old.
I am a recent survivor of breast cancer. I was diagnosed in June 2006 and finish all of my treatments in April of 2007. It was a long hard journey, but I have grown so much.
It is amazing how something so tramatic can change the way you look at just simple, everyday things.
I hope to share some of the things I have learned with you. Some you will agree with, some you will not. Others... you might have to think about, that's okay. That's what makes our world so wonderful, we are all different.
So here's to a wonderful adventure. I hope you choose to join in it with me over the months to come.
Smiles!
Alice
I am a recent survivor of breast cancer. I was diagnosed in June 2006 and finish all of my treatments in April of 2007. It was a long hard journey, but I have grown so much.
It is amazing how something so tramatic can change the way you look at just simple, everyday things.
I hope to share some of the things I have learned with you. Some you will agree with, some you will not. Others... you might have to think about, that's okay. That's what makes our world so wonderful, we are all different.
So here's to a wonderful adventure. I hope you choose to join in it with me over the months to come.
Smiles!
Alice
Saturday, January 23, 2010
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